Wild Wild Mess
by Lovell Mahan-Moutaw
I was wrong. If they could screw it up, they did.
Sure, in the first fifteen minutes of the film, after an interesting
beginning, including the delightfully nostalgic opening credits and a
familiar introduction to James T. West, I thought I was going to have
the time of my life.
Wild, Wild West was always about Jim West and Artemus Gordon fighting
off bad guys. You could count on the sleek, gun-toting bad-ass James West
kissing a girl in every episode just as you knew that quirky, brainy Artemus
Gordon would come up in a pinch with some bizarre gadget or two.
These elements were in the film but, instead of it simply being about
"the job" (being Secret Service agents), in the film it was really about
Jim West being black.
The story goes like this: It is 1869. Jim West, a Captain in the U.S.
Army, is after the decidedly disgusting Confederate General "Bloodbath"
McGrath. West thinks McGrath is behind the massacre of the citizens in
New Liberty, a free town of former slaves. Artemus Gordon is after the
same man. President Ulysses S. Grant sends the two of them together to
get McGrath. Instead of McGrath, they find Dr. Arliss Loveless, a crazy
Southerner they thought was dead but who is now trying to take over the
United States of America.
I was one of the few who was surprised and excited about Will Smith being
cast as Jim West. I thought it would be a color-blind role or a smooth
spin on the black man's presence in the West after the Civil War.
It was none of this. Instead, we're treated to Will Smith, playing no
Jim West I ever knew, avenging the just-freed Negroes at every turn.
Even this could have been done well, but instead they hit us over the
head with it. Running around everywhere in the first hour of the film
were Confederate soldiers still in uniform. There weren't that many soldiers
in grey uniform in the war, much less trundling around four years after
the war was over. Will Smith is called "boy" at every turn. There is even
a scene where Jim West is on the verge of being lynched. Sure, in the
first scene, when Jim punches the daylights out of a guy right on the
sound of "Nnnn" in the n-word, you give a good smile - hell, even a cheer
- but after awhile it gets tiresome.
Jim West wasn't that much of a smart ass, and when he was, he was a suave,
shit-eating-grin smart ass. Will Smith's Jim West isn't any of this. He's
just a a smart aleck, and not very good at that either.
Also a little credit should go to Kenneth Branagh, whose scenery-chewing
acting style is perfectly fit for a piece of fiction such as this. His
Dr. Loveless is a bizarre fellow, and hideous to boot.
But blended in with this mess is Salma Hayek, gorgeous beyond belief,
but she has absolutely no use in this film. She is there to be a pretty
face and someone who Jim West kisses. She doesn't advance the plot, isn't
very good comic relief, and simply manages to be the T&A of the film,
literally.
The plot is terrible. At first almost incomprehensible, it then gets
worse as you begin to understand it.
The special effects are alternately stunning and original (the chase
through the corn field) and completely dreadful (the matte effects are
easily identifiable).
This could have been, should have been, marvelous. It wasn't. I could
even admit it was a waste of time if I had anything better to do on a
lazy afternoon.
A pet peeve of mine is when Hollywood takes a familiar story and bastardizes
it. Disney is infamous for this in their recent animated films (Pocahontas,
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules). I simply don't understand
why they didn't make a movie about a black U.S. Army Captain with a chip
on his shoulder about a post-war massacre, and a white U.S. Marshall who
likes to tinker with gadgets, thrown together in order to protect the
president. Name them Jim Sloane and Trevor Gordon to wink at where the
idea came from and leave the Wild, Wild West nostalgia alone.
Hollywood won't learn but I will. Maybe. 
If I like something, I like it and that can blind me to its faults. I'm
sure The X-Files movie wasn't as absolutely fantastic as
I found it (I do know it was dang good though), but I love The X-Files
television series, and I love David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, so
I loved the movie. Ditto for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.
So, loving Will Smith, Kevin Kline and the television series Wild,
Wild West, the film version was going to be something I would enjoy,
full stop.
Valiantly
trying to save this fiasco is Kevin Kline's Artemus Gordon. Attempting
to stay with the essence of the Gordon from the television series, Kline
makes Artie fun to watch. (My viewing partner felt Kline was a bit pompous
for Artie. Although I agree, I didn't think it detracted.)