THE MUSE
by Lovell Mahan-Moutaw
Unfortunately, the rest of The Muse was anything but bliss. Outside
of Stone's wardrobe and a hilarious cameo by Martin Scorsese, this film
was boring and self-indulgent.
Wait, I'm talking about Albert Brooks here. What have I seen by Albert
Brooks that hasn't been boring and self-indulgent? Let's see, there was
Mother, which was mean-spirited, boring and self-indulgent. There
was Defending Your Life, which was forgettable, boring and self-indulgent.
There was The Scout (he wrote the script), which was just plain
boring. I haven't seen any other work by Brooks, but I don't think I'll
plan on it. Albert Brooks is a talent that you have to have a taste for,
and I do not have that taste.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes he can be rather funny. Mostly, however,
he seems whiny, neurotic, self-absorbed and pathetic. Sure, that can be
played as funny, but so far, for me, Brooks hasn't managed it.
Now, we have Brooks' (writer, director, lead actor), The Muse.
Sharon Stone is Sarah, a supposed muse straight out of Greek mythology.
She can help an artists to create, simply by being around them. She doesn't
even have to come up with ideas, even though she does, quite often. Brooks
is Steven, a Hollywood screenwriter who has "lost his edge." He is desperate
to find some help, and his incredibly successful friend, Jack (Jeff Bridges),
tells him about this muse that has helped Jack and much of the rest of
Hollywood.
After Jack asks her, Sarah decides to take Steven as a client. She has
a penchant for things from Tiffany's, and she is demanding and manipulative.
She expects to be put up in the Four Seasons hotel, only later to wheedle
herself into Steven's guest house, only later still to wheedle herself
into Steven and his wife's bed.
Meanwhile, Sarah takes a liking to Steven's wife Laura (Andie McDowell)
and does some "musing" with her, helping her to create a cookie company
a la Mrs. Fields.
More happens. There are cameos by Lorenzo Lamas, Martin Scorsese, Jennifer
Tilly, Rob Reiner, Jim Cameron and others. Through it all, Brooks whines
and complains to practically everyone, including Scorsese who blows him
off with great aplomb (which I wish everyone in the film would do).
This film was supposed to make a point about writers and directors in
Hollywood (specifically Brooks' experience about being a writer and director
in Hollywood) - how all the suits are jerks; how everyone is desperate
to keep on top; how everyone thinks they can write a movie; how success
can make you forget friends; etc. Hollywood has been done and done better
(Swimming With Sharks comes to mind, as does The Big Picture).
Bridges provides some entertainment on a tennis court, but other than
that his considerable comic talents are wasted here. Even McDowell, who
is one of the worst working actresses in show business today, holds her
own. Stone is actually quite humorous even as she is being annoying, which
is quite a feat, and Brooks could have taken a lesson from her. But the
movie is just so boring, the angle of the film (Brooks' need for the muse)
so whiny, that I just didn't care and couldn't wait for it to be over.
I wouldn't recommend The Muse unless you want to see Sharon Stone
wear some gorgeous clothes (and wear them well, I might add). Other than
that, it is a waste of time. 
Emanual
Ungaro is the star of Albert Brooks' new movie, The Muse. The fashion
designer provides some of the only entertainment in the film. His clothes
(worn by Sharon Stone) are absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. Kudos
to Vera Wang for giving me another moment's excitement - she provided
Stone's shoes. In one scene, we see a delicious pair of chartreuse satin
mules that I, personally, would die for. They would look wonderful on
my dead body's feet in a coffin, and I could wear them through eternity.
Bliss.