PROOF OF LIFE
by Lovell Mahan-Moutaw

We know a few things early on about Alice (Meg Ryan). She has a friend who is the same size as her (so she can borrow fits-like-a-glove evening gowns at the very last minute in order to attend third world charity functions). She has a funky wardrobe amassed from what we will soon find out is a penchant for living in a variety of developing countries, from what she calls "Africa" (which we all know is just one huge continent-style third world country) to Thailand. And she has possible color blindness (based on how she puts together this funky wardrobe). This is frightening, as women don't generally get color blindness, but it might have to do with the fact that her hair hangs in her eyes at all times. Personally, this bothers me and colors my view of Alice, because when my hair hangs in my eyes, I tend to get very bad, almost migraine-esque headaches. Alice may have these headaches too, since she is constantly wearing a pained expression and she squints a lot.

But as much as we think we know Alice, we are led astray. For example, when Alice is with her husband, we think she is a whiner who likes to point with a cigarette in her hand because (apparenly) she thinks its cool. It isn't. Then, later, we find that she is not a whiner, but is really superhumanly strong - when her husband gets kidnapped she puts on a brave face and doesn't seem to care much. She uses this as an opportunity to traipse around and even entertain (sometimes complete strangers) in a variety of different sleeping attires that normally include a tank top that shows off her perky nipples.

We don't really learn much early on about Terry (Russell Crowe). He is quiet and macho. He is Australian. He has a son and a dangerous job and a deep voice. It may be that I personally didn't learn anything about Terry early on because Crowe is beefcake, beefcake, beefcake.. He is so beefcake that for the first twenty to thirty minutes of the film I didn't pay much attention to anything except his beefcakedness. When he wasn't on the screen and when I wasn't worried about Alice's color blindness or her possible headaches, I was concerned with when he'd get back on the screen so I could again admire his beefcakedness.

About the film: This is it in a nutshell: Alice and Peter (David Morse) live in some South African third world, er, developing country. Alice has recently had a miscarriage. Peter is an engineer and something is happening with the company that employs him and he's a little worried (at this point, I was worried about when I'd get to see more of Crowe so I didn't pay much attention). Alice just wants to leave this country and go back to the good ole U.S. of A., even though her clothes (or at the very least, her boots) may get her laughed out of the United States. Peter gets kidnapped and in comes Terry, a "K and R" specialist (that is "kidnap and ransom"). All sorts of silly stuff happens (again, not paying attention because Crowe was back on screen) and in the end Terry helps Alice for free. Throughout all of this, poor Peter is out in the wilds of this developing country being held by some quasi-political but really drug running organization that doesn't let him clip his toenails or shave.

Terry and Alice are thrown ino this intense negotiation deal and Terry gets to act badass a lot and finally Dino (David Caruso) comes in to save the entire picture by being funny and saying "uptown" and "downtown" a lot and looking knowingly at Terry and Alice who share a beer glass for some bizarre reason (am I the only one who fears backwash?). Peter continues to defy Juaco, the drug-smoking liberation army crazy, and call him such cutting things as "Pig Master" (but of course, Juaco speaks no English so these cuts don't effect him much, but he hates Peter nonetheless because Peter refused to move without getting his spoon and shirt and this caused Juaco, in a drug induced craze, to shoot his friend, and the powers of the quasi-political-but-really-drug-running organization demote Juaco to, well, Pig Master - the whole movie is like this, folks).

This mess ends with a kiss, a tank top worn by a male (thank God!) and a lot of camouflage makeup. Finally we are treated to the credits and a great song by Van Morrison playing over some magnificent views of Ecuador and the lady behind me saying, "This is the best part of the movie."

Problem is, I don't think hostage negotiation is all that thrilling. I mean, you talk with someone through letters and over radios and stuff. How exciting would it be to watch this for two hours? Not much. And we don't get ino the emotionality of it because Alice (or rather, Meg Ryan) wasn't capable of that range of emotion, so she smoked a lot and looked like she had a constant headache. She cried a couple of times and her eyes were bloodshot, but I wasn't convinced. Crowe, Caruso and Morse are so above all of this that it's frightening, and you could tell every step of the way. It screamed, "paycheck" as in "I'm only doing this for the...".

Taylor Hackford, the director of this mess, clearly fell in love with Ecuador and captured the essence, in my opinion, of a South American developing country. The beauty and wildness of the country is mirrored in the beauty and wildness of its people and politics. You get there and are stunned by how wonderful, how gorgeous it is and you never want to leave, just as you are disgusted and frightened by the whole place and you can't wait to go.

I have to admit that I'm only part kidding when I say that I really wasn't paying much attention in the beginning (it could have been Crowe or it could have been my frame of mind), but the plot in fact seemed convoluted and not entirely interesting - I got lost early and didn't really have the interest in catching up. It was beautifully filmed, but that doesn't make up for what essentially was incredibly boring until the rather suspenseful last fifteen to twenty minutes.

In the end, though, it wasn't satisfying. I don't know what they wanted us to feel - some kind of tension as Alice and Terry grew closer as they both fought for the return of Peter? Some idea about the unfairness of life? The high drama of this world that few of us ever glimpse (thank goodness)? I kept asking myself, why was this movie made? It truly just seems useless.

The credits say that the movie was based on a Vanity Fair article about the Kidnap and Ransom business. I would rather see a documentary. Well, at least it was a semi-original idea rather than some rehash and bastardization of a Doctor Seuss book, or a classic, tragic French novel made into an animated kid movie with singing gargoyles. But it just didn't work for me. I'd see it again, just for the Terry Tank Top Scene. Oooo, la, la. BEEFCAKE!

CineScene, 2000