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LIFE'S A BEACH
In the first few minutes of the film we're introduced to Richard (DiCaprio), a bored Gen-X traveler waiting for his life to begin. He tells us, via a flat monologue of near poetic verse, that you can't spare yourself the pain of a bad experience, but that if you can live through it, you will have learned something. We are then introduced to Robert Carlyle, who, before disappearing forever from the film, chews scenery like the Tasmanian Devil, and gives Leo the map to The Beach. Meanwhile, Leo has set his sights upon a beautiful French girl (Virginie Ledoyen) traveling with her French beau (Guilluame Canet) and believes that this map, and the journey to the mythic beach, will win him the heart of Ledoyen. The power is in the possession of the map; the power is being the one in the know. The others are impressed by Richard and agree to follow him, which means they sail, they swim, they hike, they run from pot-growers with machine guns, they jump off a dangerous cliff - all to get to The Beach. The Beach, as it turns out, isn't deserted, but inhabited by a commune of slackers who've built a secret, virginal society, with their own leader, Sal (regal Tilda Swinton). The trio is accepted into the group under the condition that they abide by its very strict rules. After all, virginal societies are tough to come by these days. One of the film's more suspenseful moments comes when Richard, while taking a trip to the mainland with Sal, gets caught in a lie, an expected but nonetheless frightening moment, as we don't know exactly what Sal will do to Richard for punishment. The story follows fairly predictable lines after that point, never setting its feet down in one spot. We don't know enough of Richard, or of the French couple, to really care what happens to them; moreover, we don't understand why they're risking life and limb for a beach. There is no attempt to create an outside world that is unbearable, that needs escaping. It isn't as if Richard is running from anything like the law or a pregnant girlfriend or The Draft. For that reason, it does appear, as one critic suggested, more like an episode of Road Rules rather than a film, a film by Danny Boyle no less. Without a definition of a world that needs escaping, The Beach doesn't seem like a big deal. The secret society rings absolutely false - even when a tragedy strikes it seems unlikely these people were ever living on fish and rice for any length of time, with or without their "rules." It's reminiscent of One Million B.C. with Raquel Welch - pretty girls and cute boys who don't need doctors or dentists (there is a scene that attempts to explain this where a man's tooth is pried out with pliers because they can't risk being found out). You find yourself silently asking how they do this or that, which further alienates you from the story. When you take plausibility out of a story you have to back it up with something equally compelling, like symbolism or metaphor. To Boyle's credit, there is one interesting (but underdeveloped) element in the film - the reoccurring appearance of the shark beneath the seemingly beautiful surface. This says two things: that Richard's idea of paradise is just an illusion, and that nature can be as deadly, even more so, than society. Part of the problem is Leo himself. With an actor like, say, Danny Boyle veteran Ewan McGregor, we might get more of a variety of expressions to aid in our understanding of what Richard is going through. If we are to be taken on an emotional journey, we have to have a good map. Leo just isn't that map. Ultimately, The Beach isn't so bad, particularly for those who like looking at Leo half-naked, entwined with the opposite sex. Boyle's camera does some amazing things, particularly when one of the commune residents gets attacked by a shark and is dragged along the white sand, his blood making a long, thin track, with a red on white that is visually stunning - proof positive of Boyle's talent. Equally compelling is a scene of underwater kissing between DiCaprio and Ledoyen amid glowing plankton. The Beach's biggest problem is that it has zero effect on its audience -- a story that could, at best, sell beer and beachwear, but can't seem to find its way out of the jungle.
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The
only reason to go see The Beach is to see Leonardo DiCaprio shirtless.
If you're going to see the latest Danny Boyle movie and expecting something
along the lines of Trainspotting or Shallow Grave, you'll
be sorely disappointed. It's all about Leo and Leo's hot new post-Titanic,
beefed up bod.