Desperately Seeking
Dirty Harry

by Sasha Stone

When last we heard from John Herzfeld he was launching the career of sex kitten-cum-chameleon Charlize Theron in 2 Days in the Valley, memorable mostly for Theron, of course, but apparently showing enough promise in Herzfeld to justify Big Studio Bucks for a Big Studio Movie.

As it turns out, fifteen minutes is exactly how long it would take Dirty Harry to say everything the film Fifteen Minutes takes to say in nearly two agonizing hours of pretentious dialogue and unnecessary violence (is it ever necessary?). The difference is, of course, that Dirty Harry was an entertaining character in an entertaining film. Filmmaker-turned-actor, Ed Burns, while a perfectly charming guy who has unexpected hero appeal, is no Clint Eastwood, and watching him step in Harry's shoes is probably the most painful aspect of Herzfeld's film.

Painful doesn't begin to cover it, of course. From the first moment, where we see Kelsey Grammar as Robert Hawkins, some sort of blood-thirsty media pimp, hunting down violent video footage to show on his "news" program, we know this is an unseasoned writer who still has a lot to learn about showing rather than telling. You know you're in trouble when the characters verbalize what is more commonly known at "the theme."

Hawkins depends largely on a cop named Eddie Flemming, an alcoholic (though here it's meant to be just part of his wacky charm) on the brink of a marriage proposal to a journalist named Nicky (Malena Kanakaredes). Flemming is a famous cop shown on TV a lot. Hawkins has, in a way, made a media whore of Flemming, until a do-gooder Firemarshall, Jordy Warsaw (Ed Burns) shows up.

The two, Warsaw and Flemming, begin investigating a fire set by two villains who, at the very least, are unique: Karel Roden and Oleg Taktarov as Emil and Oleg. If only the film weren't driven by violent acts committed by Oleg (or is it Emil?) while the other unbelievably videotapes the whole thing for what appears to be the sole purpose of shoving the theme down our throats. The theme that is, unfortunately, so last millennium.

The plot is, for the most part, insignificant. What's important here are two main things - the first, that Herzfeld wants it both ways. He wants to smear our hunger for violence in our face but, at the same time, wants to entertain us with scenes of violence. The second is that Herzfeld would be better served reading William Goldman's "Adventures in Screenwriting" where Goldman spells out the reasons you don't pull gratuitous surprises on your audience just for the sake of it.

Moreover, this is one of those films that draws in the crowds based on a misleading ad campaign. While we're all expecting a Michael Bay-esque buddy/cop dramedy, we're getting some grand attempt at black comedy, which fails on nearly every level.

Robert DeNiro is perfectly fine for what he has to do, even tossing a nod over in Travis Bickle's direction when he's talking to himself in the mirror, only this time he's practicing proposing to his girlfriend rather than provoking an assailant. Ed Burns shows real promise as "the sidekick," and could go on to become, in fact, a pretty great actor.

Having said all this is, there really any point in continuing? There is, for one reason - that Herzfeld does show promise as a director. He ought to have someone put some kind of ointment on his fingers to keep him from ever taking pen to paper, but as a director, he's got lots of talent, along the lines of John McTiernan, or perhaps Jim Cameron. The scene where Ed Burns is trapped in a burning building is especially well done.

Because of that, it's hard to write off Herzfeld. His films have an admirable energy to them, even while you're looking for ways to obliterate all memory of the plot in your mind. Afterward, I felt like showering off by watching Dirty Harry, or perhaps imagining Jim Carrey as Firemarshall Bill in the lead instead of Ed Burns. Now, that's entertainment.

CineScene, 2001